Eavesdropping on the Umpires

As it turns out, Ron Darling is not the only one who can read lips. CW was able to pick up the entire conversation in the umpire huddle late in the ninth inning:

Ump 1: Now you’ve done it. Here I spend the entire night perfecting the inconsistent strike zone, the one where Yankee pitchers get generous corners while the other team has to hit dimes, and it all might be flushed down the toilet because of your bad call.

Ump 2: I’m sorry, I forgot which team was on the field!

Ump 3: Well, what do we do now? How do we explain to Mr. Selig and the TBS execs that we gave the other team an extra chance against the Yankees?

Ump 4: But if we overturn the call, we might not make it out of here alive – I heard they throw batteries here in Indianapolis when they are angry.

Ump 5: It’s not Indianapolis you idiot. I heard one of the fans tell me that we are in Minnesota – but that can’t be right…. where is all the snow?

Ump 1: What if we were to let the call stand? It might work in our favor. Everybody will be so up in arms that we screwed the Yankees with a bad call, they won’t even raise an eyebrow about the strike zone thing.

Ump 2: That’s brilliant!

Ump 1: (sigh) I hope Derek Jeter thinks so…

It is true that CW’s judgement might be a little off after a long night of mind-numbing TBS baseball analysis, but I’m pretty sure that is the word-for-word conversation that went down.


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